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A Fresh Start to Living with Intention!

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Hey everyone! Long time no chat. I’ve been a bit MIA these days because, well, basically life just sort of took over, but I am back and I want to give this thing the love and attention it needs. I’ve also been fighting a fear between just being myself vs trying to be objective and informational, if that makes sense. But a good friend helped me realize that, what is the worst that could happen if people I knew in real life knew me as personally as I shared myself on this blog? So I’m going to be more real, as I definitely enjoy reading those blogs more than pure informational ones (i.e. 10 Ways to Get Over a Cold!) Be warned, this is a long post, but it’s an intro to a new start, so if you have the patience to read it, then cool!

A lot of things have changed and I must admit that I got distracted from the Minimalism thing because I had moved into a new house with my SO and had a promotion a few months back so I was very busy and overwhelmed. The result was a house full of things (combining my things with his things) and being too mentally exhausted to focus on anything else with all the work stuff going on.

After having gone through some intense personal development workshops and seeing the person I want to be wasn’t exactly who I was currently, I am committing to live a more intentional life starting today, August 1st, 2015! I plan on checking in weekly to see how I am doing, and I am happy for you to point out of I miss any updates (eek!). One thing I need to work on is committing to tasks that are somewhat ‘repetitive’. I seem to have a difficult time with this. But my coach said something brilliant.

Building Character means doing the things that uphold your values and who you want to be, despite you not feeling like it or wanting to do it.

Amen to that. But first.

I kicked off my “Fresh Start” by reading this book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. It’s absolutely incredible! Talk about a unique, quirky perspective on minimalism. Basically, Marie talks about the Japanese KonMari method of decluttering, where you hold every item in your hand, and only keep it if it “sparks joy”.  She anthropomorphises objects, teaching you to show them love and appreciation, and thank them for their purpose. For example, if there are gifts or cards you don’t want to keep but feel guilty about getting rid of, know that the purpose of a gift/card is to convey someone’s emotions about you. Once that purpose has been served, you have no other obligation to keep the item.

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I finished this book in a few hours and was well on my way to decluttering what I had accumulated since my last purge. I got rid of 4 giant garbage bags of clothes/linens, a bunch of books, dishes, and random knickknacks that had no meaning. I also went through useless documents that I thought I had to keep for record keeping sake. Granted, I don’t have a ton of things because I did do a huge purge last year, and I am not the biggest shopper. But I did well! I am so lucky to have a partner who was super supportive of it all.

“Go ahead! I like my office but the rest of the house is yours!”

Yay!

Anyway, pick up this book. It’s very cute, but extremely practical and claims to make you a tidy person for once and for all.

Let’s take a moment to talk about Minimalism for a second. I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos lately on minimalism,

Here are a couple I absolutely love:

but most of the Minimalists I am running into, whether on YouTube or on the Blogosphere, focus on extreme minimalism. Like, literally living with only, probably, one item of everything you need. Their decor is very neutral, simple, and clean. Which is really cool, and I wish I could do it, but I can’t ignore who I really am.

You know what brings me joy? Anything antique/vintage/retro and bohemian looking. Think eccentric grandma! Ornate designs carved into wood, colourful eccentric patterns against a neutral background, and textures. I do like to keep the bedroom fairly neutral and relaxing though as a space to clear my mind. Also, my wardrobe is pretty minimalist and neutral. My home just has to be eye candy. Here are some photos below. 

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So while my tastes don’t match what the norm seems to be out there in the Minimalism world, I adore every piece I own and they all spark joy. This is what it means to me.  It means many things to different people. For instance, the world traveler minimalist who lives from their backpack, or a van converted into a home. I think it’s important not to confuse minimalism as one way of being because the purpose is ultimately the same – to get rid of the things we don’t need, to make room for the things we want.

And now, I must move onto to my Intentional Living! I’m not going to lie, I’m a bit nervous to start this. But the blog, Blonde on a Budget (another one you need to check out) really inspired me. Not only is she living more intentionally, but she has been on a Year Long Shopping Ban and onto her second! Amazing work Cait!

Below is a list of things that I intend to focus on so that I can live more intentionally, simply, and meaningfully. I’ve already been doing these things, but the goal is to STICK to them and remember the higher purpose. 

Health and Fitness: 

  • Daily Pilates: Currently I’m doing Blogilates daily. (Guys it’s so much fun!)
  • Bike to work at least 3x/week.
  • Intuitive eating which is creating a good relationship with food, mind and body. Learning not to eat for emotional reasons, just eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full.
  • Vegan/Vegetarian diet. I love animals way too much to eat them. Also not eating processed foods, too much sugar/alcohol/caffeine/crap. Currently I’m open to eating seafood, but most of my diet is primarily vegetarian. Let’s see if I can get to vegan. Any advice?
  • Cook more! Less eating out. Save money. I’ve been doing pretty well here.

Spiritual/Emotional:

  • Everytime I have the impulse to eat something bad because of emotional reasons (boredom/sadness etc), sit in the feeling, recognize it’s a misguided opportunity to connect with ourselves. Being ok with just feeling the emotions.
  • Be more present.
  • Astrology!: I must admit, whether it’s true or not, I find it so fascinating because the things I read seem to be extremely accurate. Been reading a bit of this book everyday. The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need.
  • Be more aware and ethical in my lifestyle choices, whether it’s cleaning products, food, clothing etc.
  • Practice my daily Bliss feeling and no suffering so I can learn to push through uncomfortable feelings when I don’t want to do something.
  • The minimalist lifestyle, living simply, enjoying the little things and open up space for what is important.

Finance:

  • Currently live on half of my paycheque, and save the other half. Only buy things I need such as food and toiletries. Spending a minimal amount on ‘going out’ and other miscellaneous things.

Giving Back:

  • This Blog: Writing consistently, and personally, to hopefully inspire others. And I will be honest when I fail on any of these things in my weekly updates.
  • Animals: Donating money or supplies to Katie’s Place, a local animal shelter in my hometown, Maple Ridge.

Relationships: I think I can sum all of these into really honouring the time I spend with those that I care about. Being truly present with them, instead of being distracted by the next thing I need to do.

  • Friends: Make an effort to see how people are doing, being more supportive of people’s dreams and aspirations.
  • Family: Being present with my family, recognizing they won’t be around forever, spending more time with them.
  • Partner: Also being more present, giving my full attention, appreciating how much I love this man and how amazing he is.

Career/Personal:

  • Grow my Virtual Assistant business here at Less of the Excess, the ultimate goal for me is to become location independent and self sufficient. Through living a minimalist lifestyle and not buying into consumerism, we need much less money to survive on!
  • Less time surfing the internet, more time on goals…this one is difficult. Less distractions!

Phew! That was a long one…

I’d love to hear some of things you guys are all doing in order to live more intentionally.

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Social Media or No Media? Which Would You Choose?

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“Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.” ~ Jim Morrison

Let’s talk about social media, or the media in general and what it does to our emotional and mental wellbeing.

I have a friend whose family is from Africa and her grandfather lived until he was 127 years old. They say it was because the family moved him out of the city, and into the countryside, cut him off from all media, so that he could live blissfully and stress free with his family and the beautiful nature.

I have another friend from Vietnam. They did the same thing. When their elders got old, they chose to protect their family members from the media and moved them to a beautiful location to live media free so they could live longer and healthier lives.

It is well known that the Media (social media, news media, etc.) can cause us stress. Especially the television news. The stories that are told to us are generally negative and frightening. I personally try to limit my exposure to negative news topics because I am a very sensitive person, and I can get very depressed about the state of the world. And while isolating oneself from the media can make us potentially live healthier stress free lives, what are the costs?

Social Media is a topic on it’s own which can cause stress because of:

  • Trying to keep up with the Joneses with what is popular or what others have
  • Keeping up with ourselves and the need to portray our ideal image
  • Being addicted to technology
  • Losing our privacy
  • Prying people
  • Identity fraud
  • Relationship/Friendship drama

If you had to choose to either be media and stress free (ignorance is bliss), or informed but stressed out and miserable? Which would you prefer? Can you have both? Do you care?

I think the happy medium is to be able to choose what content we are exposed to. Essentialism, coined by Greg McKeown, would say we should choose to expose ourselves to information that brings us value, and disregard the rest. A dear friend of mine says it’s always important to be learning (which requires learning about what is going on in the world), but we should have a choice on what kind of information we get and go to trusted, unbiased (ideally) sources. We should also explore all angles of a story or issue, and not blindly accept what is being told. For example, read the comments sections and discover other intelligent interpretations.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Why I Am Not On Facebook And The Benefits Of It

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“Distracted from distraction by distraction.”  – T.S. Eliot

I get asked all the time why I’m not on Facebook, so I thought I would share my thoughts with you. The main reason was that I was a compulsive user of Facebook. It was the ultimate distraction. I couldn’t even wait in line without checking the Facebook App on my mobile phone. I’d be going about my day and Status Updates would constantly pop into my head. It was a bad habit.

Facebook has also changed a lot since I first joined in 2007. It used to be a valuable tool for keeping in touch with people, but it turned into constant advertisements and people began only posting internet memes. I wasn’t getting any value from it. I also became uneasy about the level of privacy. On the personal side, I became uncomfortable with sharing information with people I hardly knew, and the idea of “Facebook Stalking” made me uneasy as I’m a private person. I felt like I didn’t have complete control of the information that was posted online about myself. Also, the fact that Facebook now owns the right to do anything they want with your data is frightening. Facebook caused more anxiety than real life did.

Lastly, Facebook felt very superficial to me. We always like to make our online persona our ideal versions of ourselves, so I felt when I was looking at my ‘friend’s’ pages, it wasn’t a real representation. I thought it was pointless as I would rather have real connections with the people in my life. I’m lucky that I avoid drama, but I could definitely see how it could be toxic for those of us who are drawn towards it. I fear what bullying is like for kids still in school.

I am fully aware of the benefits of social media – it’s extremely useful for keeping in touch with people, marketing, networking, job search and spreading information. But I prefer to rely on websites that are less personal and be a bit choosier on what info goes out.

So with that in mind, I gathered the contacts of the people I wanted to keep in touch with and decided to delete my account. I’m proud to say I’ve been Facebook Free for just over a year! This blog is about minimalism and getting rid of distractions in order to live a more meaningful life, and getting rid of Facebook was a great introduction into it.

It’s funny because at first I kept reaching for my phone only to realize there was no more Facebook App. And I (still to this day) unknowingly type “www.faceb…” into my internet browser only to realize halfway through I can’t log on. But aside from that, there were so many benefits that came out of getting rid of my Facebook account.

The 5 benefits of not being on Facebook:

  • More Time: One of the main benefits of not having Facebook is how much time I suddenly had. I was so much more productive! I could write more music, work on more projects and have more time to spend it with people I cared about. I could also spend more time enjoying the outdoors or cooking a delicious meal.
  • Deeper Connections with People: The second most important benefit I had was that the level of depth to my friendships and relationships increased. Without the ability to check in on how people were doing online, I was able to have real meaningful conversations, you know, like we did in the old days 😉
  • More Privacy: I had more personal privacy and control over the info that was posted online about myself, and I had privacy from the Facebook information thieves.
  • Living in the Moment: Being less fixated on the online world helped me to become more present and aware of my surroundings. I was able to truly enjoy the here and now.
  • Higher Self Esteem: There have been studies that Facebook makes us unhealthy, sad and jealous because we compare ourselves to others. Well I can say with confidence that it hardly comes up for me anymore as I can’t peer into anyone’s lives.

And finally, a wonderful song a friend sent me that is somewhat related. I’m quite enjoying Passenger. There are many songs about getting rid of distractions and the superficial world and more into meaningful, happy living.

“Scare Away The Dark”

Well, sing, sing at the top of your voice,

Love without fear in your heart.
Feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

We wish our weekdays away
Spend our weekends in bed
Drink ourselves stupid
And work ourselves dead
And all just because that’s what mom and dad said we should do

We should run through the forest
We should swim in the streams
We should laugh, we should cry,
We should love, we should dream
We should stare at the stars and not just the screens
You should hear what I’m saying and know what it means

To sing, sing at the top of your voice,
Love without fear in your heart.
Feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

Well, we wish we were happier, thinner and fitter,
We wish we weren’t losers and liars and quitters
We want something more not just nasty and bitter
We want something real not just hash tags and Twitter

It’s the meaning of life and it’s streamed live on YouTube
But I bet Gangnam Style will still get more views
We’re scared of drowning, flying and shooters
But we’re all slowly dying in front of computers

So sing, sing at the top of your voice,
Oh, love without fear in your heart.
Can you feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Facebook. Feel free to share them in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.

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