I am so happy to be this week’s feature on Miss Minimalist’s Blog. A huge thank you to Miss Francine Jay for giving me the space to share my story.
Please check out her blog. Francine Jay is a minimalist, who believes that it is about eliminating distractions that keep us from fully appreciating life.
“The less stuff we have cluttering our homes (and the less “to-do’s” cluttering our time), the more energy we can devote to the things that are truly important to us.”
Just a side note, the post is a little outdated as at the time I sent it, I was in a different space. I’d proudly like to say that ever since I’ve been very firm on living according to my values, I’ve ended up in jobs that really align with who I am and want to be, and this makes me so happy.
For instance, I’ve had the opportunity to give back and teach at a couple local film schools (mainly career development stuff), and I’m now working full-time training and developing artists and leadership at a film studio, as well as creating a culture of openness and collaboration. It is just so amazing to me that when we really focus our energies on doing what we love, we start to notice opportunities that lead us in that direction. I can’t encourage you enough to follow your passions no matter what. Now how cool is that?
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” – J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
So I was about to write a giant post on the Law of Attraction, Priming, Filters and the Baader Meinhof Phenomenon (haha, I’m serious). But I ran into this TED Talk by Philosopher, Ruth Chang, and I had to share it. Mind. Blown.
Ever felt like you had a difficult decision to make, or just felt indecisive in general? This TED talk will knock your socks off (if you’re into philosophy) and will change the way you view choices forever. Basically, when you make a value choice between two alternatives (ie. do I want to live in Vancouver, or move to Montreal?), it’s not about weighing the pros and cons. That won’t help you. It’s about the reasons we create for ourselves and having an opportunity to shape who we want to be. WOW. Is it just me? Probably. Anyway, watch the video and prepare to be mind blown!
“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.” – Jim Morrison
Wow! It has been a while. I have been busy as a bee, interviewing for jobs daily, sometimes up to 8 people in one day. I was also doing some teaching and consulting part-time, so there was not a boring moment. But, I’m happy to say I’ll be starting at a new job on Monday!
The whole process made me reflect on a lot of things, and a few things in particular stand out and I wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Searching for a job sort of feels like the dating process. We meet with new people, we put on our best selves, and hope we make a good impression. Through it all we get rejected along the way, or we are offered things that aren’t really in line with what we want to do. Some people would settle, and some would wait until they got what they truly wanted.
Along the way I met an amazing and inspiring woman, only on the phone, but we had a good chat about finding people who speak our language. I was struggling through some moments where I’d meet with people or companies that I knew I didn’t fit in, or the values didn’t line up with what I believed in. She made me think about the fact that if we stay true to ourselves, we will eventually find the right people who speak our language. And I never swayed from that. In the end, I ended up with an opportunity that is with wonderful people who understood the value of the people side of business.
It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to be someone we’re not, just so we can fit into a certain mould and be accepted by others. But you know what, a new friend said to me,
Everyone is going to judge you anyway, so just be yourself!
And I want to emphasize that with every ounce of my being. There is no point in trying to fake it and be someone who is any other version of you than you. I promise, you will find someone who speaks your own language, life’s too short to live it any other way.
Please leave a comment below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com if you have any other thoughts or experiences you’d like to share.
“The root of all of our problems is our inability to let go.” – Leo Babauta
I apologize for being a bit MIA this week, I’ve been busy from day until night everyday with interviews, teaching and consulting work, but I’ve been aching to get back at my blog! Today, I bring to you a free gift, an e-book created by the talented writer and minimalist, Leo Babauta, who is also someone I look up to and is a huge source of inspiration in starting my blog.
The e-book is called The One Skill: How Mastering the Art of Letting Go Will Change Your Life. The title sort of explains it, but basically it’s based on the Zen idea of letting go, and when we can master this we can reduce our stress, procrastinate less, improve our relationships, increase our ability to deal with change, learn to change difficult habits, and become more present in our lives.
The biggest thing I took away from this book was the idea that our expectations or fantasies are based on ideals, and when we have certain ideals about the way a situation or a person should be, we set ourselves up for disappointment, stress and anxiety. This causes fear, fear of things not turning out the way they should. But when we can just learn to let go of these ideals, the fear disappears, and we become more present, happy and productive.
But, you don’t have to take my word for it, take a look for yourself and see. It’s a pretty easy read and the benefits are huge.
Pick up this FREE e-book here and check out Leo Babauta’s amazing blog at zenhabits.net. I promise you won’t be disappointed!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this e-book if you read it! Let me know in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.
“Without frugality none can be rich, and with it very few would be poor.” – Samuel Johnson
What do you think of when you hear the word Frugal? Thriftiness? Being a cheapskate?
I’m looking at a gorgeous view of the park from my studio apartment window, thinking to myself, this is heavenly. The golden sunset beaming its rays across the leafy treetops is mesmerizing. Because I live in a studio apartment, my rent is lower than a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment. I was frugal in my choice so that I would have more money and more freedom but I didn’t sacrifice quality. There is no deprivation involved.
‘Cheap’ means something different. The word ‘cheap’ has negative connotations. It can range from a certain attitude in someone’s personality, to buying things that are yes, inexpensive, but of low quality, and will not bring any lasting happiness or satisfaction. I was being frugal in my choice of living space, but definitely not cheap. I absolutely love it here. It’s my peaceful getaway in the middle of the city.
Frugality is:
About living smarter and wisely, and not depriving ourselves of things we want in life
Making thoughtful decisions, using research and intellect on what we buy
Understanding the value of our money and how it is spent, stretching a dollar as far as it can go
Better money management and knowing where all our money goes, getting rid of debt, eliminating or decreasing unnecessary bills
An awareness of the long-term value of an item
Understanding the value of purchasing higher quality items that last, vs things that will fall apart quickly
Getting back to the simple things in life, and focusing on what is important
Freedom!
Cheap is:
An item/thing being of low quality and eventually falling apart
Being stingy and difficult around friends and family when it comes to spending
Holding onto money in the detriment of others
A lower quality of living and sacrificing personal happiness
Below is a beautiful excerpt that a friend sent me that talks about Frugality. It’s from the book “Your Money or Your Life” by Vicki Robin, Joe Dominguez and Monique Tilford.
There’s a word in Spanish that encompasses all this: aprovechar. It means to use something wisely – be it old zippers from worn-out clothes or a sunny day at the beach. It’s getting full value from life, enjoying all the good that each moment and each thing as to offer. You can “approvechar” a simple meal, a flat of overripe strawberries or a cruise in the Bahamas. There’s nothing miserly about aprovechar; it’s a succulent word, full of sunlight and flavor. If only “frugal” were so sweet.
The “more is better and it’s never enough” mentality in North America fails the frugality test not solely because of the excess, but because of the lack of enjoyment of what we already have. Indeed, North Americans have been called materialists, but that’s a misnomer. All too often it’s not material things we enjoy as much as what these things symbolize: conquest, status, success, achievement, a sense of worth and even favor in the eyes of the Creator. Once we’ve acquired the dream house, the status car or the perfect mate, we rarely stop to enjoy them thoroughly. Instead, we’re off and running after the next coveted acquisition.
Another lesson we can derive from the dictionary definition of “frugal” is the recognition that we don’t need to possess a thing to enjoy it – we merely need to use it. If we are enjoying an item, whether or not we own it, we’re being frugal. For many of life’s pleasures it may be far better “use” something than to “posses” it (and pay in time and energy for the upkeep). So often we have been like feudal lords, gathering as many possessions as possible from far and wide and bringing them inside the walls of our castle. If we want something (or wanted it in the past, or imagine we want it in the future), we think we must bring it inside the boundaries of the world called “mine”. What we fail to recognize is that what is outside the walls of “mine” doesn’t belong to the enemy; it belongs to “the rest of us”. And if what lies outside our walls is not “them” but “us,”, we can afford to loosen our grip a bit on our possessions. We can gingerly open the doors of our fortress and allow goods (material and spiritual) to flow into and out of our boundaries.
Frugality, then, is also learning to share, to see the world as “ours” rather than as “theirs” and “mine”. And, while not explicit in the word, being frugal and being happy with having enough mean that more will be available for others. Learning to equitably share the resource sof the earth is at the top of the global agenda, and some creative frugality in North America could go a long way toward promoting that balance.
“Distracted from distraction by distraction.” – T.S. Eliot
I get asked all the time why I’m not on Facebook, so I thought I would share my thoughts with you. The main reason was that I was a compulsive user of Facebook. It was the ultimate distraction. I couldn’t even wait in line without checking the Facebook App on my mobile phone. I’d be going about my day and Status Updates would constantly pop into my head. It was a bad habit.
Facebook has also changed a lot since I first joined in 2007. It used to be a valuable tool for keeping in touch with people, but it turned into constant advertisements and people began only posting internet memes. I wasn’t getting any value from it. I also became uneasy about the level of privacy. On the personal side, I became uncomfortable with sharing information with people I hardly knew, and the idea of “Facebook Stalking” made me uneasy as I’m a private person. I felt like I didn’t have complete control of the information that was posted online about myself. Also, the fact that Facebook now owns the right to do anything they want with your data is frightening. Facebook caused more anxiety than real life did.
Lastly, Facebook felt very superficial to me. We always like to make our online persona our ideal versions of ourselves, so I felt when I was looking at my ‘friend’s’ pages, it wasn’t a real representation. I thought it was pointless as I would rather have real connections with the people in my life. I’m lucky that I avoid drama, but I could definitely see how it could be toxic for those of us who are drawn towards it. I fear what bullying is like for kids still in school.
I am fully aware of the benefits of social media – it’s extremely useful for keeping in touch with people, marketing, networking, job search and spreading information. But I prefer to rely on websites that are less personal and be a bit choosier on what info goes out.
So with that in mind, I gathered the contacts of the people I wanted to keep in touch with and decided to delete my account. I’m proud to say I’ve been Facebook Free for just over a year! This blog is about minimalism and getting rid of distractions in order to live a more meaningful life, and getting rid of Facebook was a great introduction into it.
It’s funny because at first I kept reaching for my phone only to realize there was no more Facebook App. And I (still to this day) unknowingly type “www.faceb…” into my internet browser only to realize halfway through I can’t log on. But aside from that, there were so many benefits that came out of getting rid of my Facebook account.
The 5 benefits of not being on Facebook:
More Time: One of the main benefits of not having Facebook is how much time I suddenly had. I was so much more productive! I could write more music, work on more projects and have more time to spend it with people I cared about. I could also spend more time enjoying the outdoors or cooking a delicious meal.
Deeper Connections with People: The second most important benefit I had was that the level of depth to my friendships and relationships increased. Without the ability to check in on how people were doing online, I was able to have real meaningful conversations, you know, like we did in the old days 😉
More Privacy: I had more personal privacy and control over the info that was posted online about myself, and I had privacy from the Facebook information thieves.
Living in the Moment: Being less fixated on the online world helped me to become more present and aware of my surroundings. I was able to truly enjoy the here and now.
Higher Self Esteem: There have been studies that Facebook makes us unhealthy, sad and jealous because we compare ourselves to others. Well I can say with confidence that it hardly comes up for me anymore as I can’t peer into anyone’s lives.
And finally, a wonderful song a friend sent me that is somewhat related. I’m quite enjoying Passenger. There are many songs about getting rid of distractions and the superficial world and more into meaningful, happy living.
“Scare Away The Dark”
Well, sing, sing at the top of your voice,
Love without fear in your heart. Feel, feel like you still have a choice If we all light up we can scare away the dark
We wish our weekdays away Spend our weekends in bed Drink ourselves stupid And work ourselves dead And all just because that’s what mom and dad said we should do
We should run through the forest We should swim in the streams We should laugh, we should cry, We should love, we should dream We should stare at the stars and not just the screens You should hear what I’m saying and know what it means
To sing, sing at the top of your voice, Love without fear in your heart. Feel, feel like you still have a choice If we all light up we can scare away the dark
Well, we wish we were happier, thinner and fitter, We wish we weren’t losers and liars and quitters We want something more not just nasty and bitter We want something real not just hash tags and Twitter
It’s the meaning of life and it’s streamed live on YouTube But I bet Gangnam Style will still get more views We’re scared of drowning, flying and shooters But we’re all slowly dying in front of computers
So sing, sing at the top of your voice, Oh, love without fear in your heart. Can you feel, feel like you still have a choice If we all light up we can scare away the dark
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Facebook. Feel free to share them in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live in.” – Unknown
Ah exercise… Some of us love it, and some of us hate it. But the truth is that health is the most important thing we have. Without our health we would never be able to enjoy the other parts of our lives that are also important to us.
People who know me know that I am not the most physically active person the on the planet. But that doesn’t mean I don’t value my health, because I definitely do! It’s extremely important to me. However, I tend to be so cerebral and stuck in my head (hence this blog!), that I tend to ignore the physical world from time to time, including my body. Oops.
That’s until now! When I discovered a minimalist exercise routine that has completely worked for me. It’s simple, and breaks it down to the basics. No fancy stuff going on here. I’ve been doing it for the past month (with a few modifications) and I find it quite fun as I can actually see my progress. I wanted to share it with you guys in case there was anyone else out there feeling the same way as I did. It isn’t a hardcore exercise routine for those of you who really like to push it, but it does the job pretty well and studies say you just need 12 minutes of high-intensity exercise in order to reap the benefits. I can already feel my stomach, butt and arms getting firmer and more toned.
This routine is called the Lifetime Ladder. I discovered it here on the Lifehacker.com website.
It’s free and it requires no equipment, just your own body. It also doesn’t take any longer than 15 minutes a day! That’s nothing. Play 3 of your favourite 5 minute songs while you exercise and you’re good to go! (I’m pretty excited to tell you about this). The best part is you can actually visually see your progress in numbers via the ladder rungs. If you get sick and are stuck in bed for a week, you can notice how your progress has gone down.
The website explains the Lifetime Ladder like this:
The program is organised around a “fitness ladder” with 48 rungs. Each rung prescribes a given number of repetitions of five exercises. The first 15 rungs constitute the Introductory Ladder and involve easier variants of the exercises in the Lifetime Ladder, rungs 16 through 48. The exercises are intended to be done every day. Completing all the exercises typically takes between 10 and 15 minutes.
Spend one week on each rung. On a given day of the week, for example Sunday, try the next higher rung. If it seems as easy as the current rung felt the week before, move up to that level. If you have difficulty completing any exercise of the new rung, or you can’t complete it in 15 minutes, or you feel pain or exhaustion at that level, stay at your current level for another week.
How great is that! So easy! I’ve modified the “bends” into squats, and I’m going to add some calf raises. Also, for the “steps” portion, if I have the time I like to either go for a run, a long walk, or a bikeride to keep things interesting.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell
Today’s blog post was triggered by an interesting and challenging experience I recently had and I felt like I wanted to share my insights with you. I was faced with a situation where in the past I would have gone to one of my vices in order to cover up fear and emotion, but I was able to push through it in order in order to gain a richer and more meaningful experience. I’m using this as a metaphor for this blog post on how we use things, or clutter, or bad habits in order to cover up something that is underneath.
Do you have any vices?
Any bad habits, negative character traits or reactions that are unhealthy for you? Shopping? Drug use? Alcohol? Dating? Sex? Over-eating? Gambling? Even habits like watching too much television or YouTube when you could be focusing on something more meaningful or productive? We do them because we think they will make us feel better, and they do but only for a brief moment. Just as soon as it started, the happiness goes away and we’re left with an empty feeling at the pit of our stomach and we need to fill up the hole with more of these vices again. And the cycle continues.
These vices are all forms of distractions keeping us away from a more focused, happy, authentic and meaningful life.
What we really need to do is get to the source of what is really upsetting us and leaving us feeling empty or afraid. What are we trying to run away from within ourselves? And what are the triggers? It is usually an emotional issue that we are trying to avoid and only when we come to grips with what we’re emotionally avoiding can we have the blissful and meaningful life we want (and deserve). We won’t need to turn to our vices to make us feel better.
Think about the life you want to live. Refer to this blog post to help you.
How to recognize when you are using vices as forms of distractions and get focused:
1. Become aware of your negative habits, write them down if you need to. It might be difficult to recognize when something is bad for you if it feels good. But if you are constantly feeling frustrated that things are not going the way you want them to in your life, (and it is happening over and over again), it is a good sign something needs to change. The first step is awareness.
2. Notice when you feel the need to act on your vice. How are you feeling at this very moment. Are you bored? Lonely? Depressed? Scared?
3. Face your issue head on. Stop for a moment, don’t head for the nearest shopping mall or alcoholic drink. Instead take some time to sit and do nothing and just feel your emotions. Nothing bad will happen to you.
When we are able to be comfortable with being alone with ourselves, we learn more about who we are. And to know ourselves brings us closer to authenticity and true happiness. It takes courage, but it is necessary if we want to have the life we want. When we can do this, we won’t need all of the old vices that we are used to going to. Also, don’t be afraid to talk openly and honestly if your issue involves other people, because the results may surprise you.
From my personal experience, when I made the conscious decision to fight against my go-to vice, I was finally free, like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I was free from being “stuck” in an old habit and being miserable and unhappy with the end results. I knew I had to stay focused on my life vision if I wanted to be happier. I grew so much from this and I want to make sure I am continuously growing and learning from these types of experiences and moments for the rest of my life. It’s basically ‘unlinking’ old associations, and creating new and more positive ones. Nothing could be better!
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein
What are some of your vices? Do you notice when they come up? Let me know in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.
