Category: distractions

A Fresh Start to Living with Intention!

Published 08/01/2015

Hey everyone! Long time no chat. I’ve been a bit MIA these days because, well, basically life just sort of took over, but I am back and I want to give this thing the love and attention it needs. I’ve also been fighting a fear between just being myself vs trying to be objective and informational, if that makes sense. But a good friend helped me realize that, what is the worst that could happen if people I knew in real life knew me as personally as I shared myself on this blog? So I’m going to be more real, as I definitely enjoy reading those blogs more than pure informational ones (i.e. 10 Ways to Get Over a Cold!) Be warned, this is a long post, but it’s an intro to a new start, so if you have the patience to read it, then cool!

A lot of things have changed and I must admit that I got distracted from the Minimalism thing because I had moved into a new house with my SO and had a promotion a few months back so I was very busy and overwhelmed. The result was a house full of things (combining my things with his things) and being too mentally exhausted to focus on anything else with all the work stuff going on.

After having gone through some intense personal development workshops and seeing the person I want to be wasn’t exactly who I was currently, I am committing to live a more intentional life starting today, August 1st, 2015! I plan on checking in weekly to see how I am doing, and I am happy for you to point out of I miss any updates (eek!). One thing I need to work on is committing to tasks that are somewhat ‘repetitive’. I seem to have a difficult time with this. But my coach said something brilliant.

Building Character means doing the things that uphold your values and who you want to be, despite you not feeling like it or wanting to do it.

Amen to that. But first.

I kicked off my “Fresh Start” by reading this book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo. It’s absolutely incredible! Talk about a unique, quirky perspective on minimalism. Basically, Marie talks about the Japanese KonMari method of decluttering, where you hold every item in your hand, and only keep it if it “sparks joy”. She anthropomorphises objects, teaching you to show them love and appreciation, and thank them for their purpose. For example, if there are gifts or cards you don’t want to keep but feel guilty about getting rid of, know that the purpose of a gift/card is to convey someone’s emotions about you. Once that purpose has been served, you have no other obligation to keep the item.

I finished this book in a few hours and was well on my way to decluttering what I had accumulated since my last purge. I got rid of 4 giant garbage bags of clothes/linens, a bunch of books, dishes, and random knickknacks that had no meaning. I also went through useless documents that I thought I had to keep for record keeping sake. Granted, I don’t have a ton of things because I did do a huge purge last year, and I am not the biggest shopper. But I did well! I am so lucky to have a partner who was super supportive of it all.

“Go ahead! I like my office but the rest of the house is yours!”

Yay!

Anyway, pick up this book. It’s very cute, but extremely practical and claims to make you a tidy person for once and for all.

Let’s take a moment to talk about Minimalism for a second. I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos lately on minimalism,

Here are a couple I absolutely love:

but most of the Minimalists I am running into, whether on YouTube or on the Blogosphere, focus on extreme minimalism. Like, literally living with only, probably, one item of everything you need. Their decor is very neutral, simple, and clean. Which is really cool, and I wish I could do it, but I can’t ignore who I really am.

You know what brings me joy? Anything antique/vintage/retro and bohemian looking. Think eccentric grandma! Ornate designs carved into wood, colourful eccentric patterns against a neutral background, and textures. I do like to keep the bedroom fairly neutral and relaxing though as a space to clear my mind. Also, my wardrobe is pretty minimalist and neutral. My home just has to be eye candy. Here are some photos below.

So while my tastes don’t match what the norm seems to be out there in the Minimalism world, I adore every piece I own and they all spark joy. This is what it means to me. It means many things to different people. For instance, the world traveler minimalist who lives from their backpack, or a van converted into a home. I think it’s important not to confuse minimalism as one way of being because the purpose is ultimately the same – to get rid of the things we don’t need, to make room for the things we want.

And now, I must move onto to my Intentional Living! I’m not going to lie, I’m a bit nervous to start this. But the blog, Blonde on a Budget (another one you need to check out) really inspired me. Not only is she living more intentionally, but she has been on a Year Long Shopping Ban and onto her second! Amazing work Cait!

Below is a list of things that I intend to focus on so that I can live more intentionally, simply, and meaningfully. I’ve already been doing these things, but the goal is to STICK to them and remember the higher purpose.

Health and Fitness:

Daily Pilates: Currently I’m doing Blogilates daily. (Guys it’s so much fun!)
Bike to work at least 3x/week.
Intuitive eating which is creating a good relationship with food, mind and body. Learning not to eat for emotional reasons, just eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full.
Vegan/Vegetarian diet. I love animals way too much to eat them. Also not eating processed foods, too much sugar/alcohol/caffeine/crap. Currently I’m open to eating seafood, but most of my diet is primarily vegetarian. Let’s see if I can get to vegan. Any advice?
Cook more! Less eating out. Save money. I’ve been doing pretty well here.

Spiritual/Emotional:

Everytime I have the impulse to eat something bad because of emotional reasons (boredom/sadness etc), sit in the feeling, recognize it’s a misguided opportunity to connect with ourselves. Being ok with just feeling the emotions.
Be more present.
Astrology!: I must admit, whether it’s true or not, I find it so fascinating because the things I read seem to be extremely accurate. Been reading a bit of this book everyday. The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need.
Be more aware and ethical in my lifestyle choices, whether it’s cleaning products, food, clothing etc.
Practice my daily Bliss feeling and no suffering so I can learn to push through uncomfortable feelings when I don’t want to do something.
The minimalist lifestyle, living simply, enjoying the little things and open up space for what is important.

Finance:

Currently live on half of my paycheque, and save the other half. Only buy things I need such as food and toiletries. Spending a minimal amount on ‘going out’ and other miscellaneous things.

Giving Back:

This Blog: Writing consistently, and personally, to hopefully inspire others. And I will be honest when I fail on any of these things in my weekly updates.
Animals: Donating money or supplies to Katie’s Place, a local animal shelter in my hometown, Maple Ridge.

Relationships: I think I can sum all of these into really honouring the time I spend with those that I care about. Being truly present with them, instead of being distracted by the next thing I need to do.

Friends: Make an effort to see how people are doing, being more supportive of people’s dreams and aspirations.
Family: Being present with my family, recognizing they won’t be around forever, spending more time with them.
Partner: Also being more present, giving my full attention, appreciating how much I love this man and how amazing he is.

Career/Personal:

Grow my Virtual Assistant business here at Less of the Excess, the ultimate goal for me is to become location independent and self sufficient. Through living a minimalist lifestyle and not buying into consumerism, we need much less money to survive on!
Less time surfing the internet, more time on goals…this one is difficult. Less distractions!

Phew! That was a long one…

I’d love to hear some of things you guys are all doing in order to live more intentionally.

Social Media or No Media? Which Would You Choose?

Published 06/17/2015

“Whoever controls the media, controls the mind.” ~ Jim Morrison

Let’s talk about social media, or the media in general and what it does to our emotional and mental wellbeing.

I have a friend whose family is from Africa and her grandfather lived until he was 127 years old. They say it was because the family moved him out of the city, and into the countryside, cut him off from all media, so that he could live blissfully and stress free with his family and the beautiful nature.

I have another friend from Vietnam. They did the same thing. When their elders got old, they chose to protect their family members from the media and moved them to a beautiful location to live media free so they could live longer and healthier lives.

It is well known that the Media (social media, news media, etc.) can cause us stress. Especially the television news. The stories that are told to us are generally negative and frightening. I personally try to limit my exposure to negative news topics because I am a very sensitive person, and I can get very depressed about the state of the world. And while isolating oneself from the media can make us potentially live healthier stress free lives, what are the costs?

Social Media is a topic on it’s own which can cause stress because of:

Trying to keep up with the Joneses with what is popular or what others have
Keeping up with ourselves and the need to portray our ideal image
Being addicted to technology
Losing our privacy
Prying people
Identity fraud
Relationship/Friendship drama

If you had to choose to either be media and stress free (ignorance is bliss), or informed but stressed out and miserable? Which would you prefer? Can you have both? Do you care?

I think the happy medium is to be able to choose what content we are exposed to. Essentialism, coined by Greg McKeown, would say we should choose to expose ourselves to information that brings us value, and disregard the rest. A dear friend of mine says it’s always important to be learning (which requires learning about what is going on in the world), but we should have a choice on what kind of information we get and go to trusted, unbiased (ideally) sources. We should also explore all angles of a story or issue, and not blindly accept what is being told. For example, read the comments sections and discover other intelligent interpretations.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Aha! Moments – Marta from Change with Marta

Published 11/13/2014

Meet Marta from http://www.changewithmarta.com. Marta writes about her journey to a happier, simpler, clutter free life, and the achievements and mistakes she makes along the way. Please check out her blog!

Marta shares her Aha Moment:

My dog doesn’t defend my house.

Yeap…that was the most challenging concept for me these past few years. Sorry…what? That was what I though myself, that I had lost all common sense.

I came to this realization after a few years of owning a dog. We would leave the apartment to go to work/school/cinema/dining out for a few hours, and unfortunately my dog would stay in the apartment alone.

When any of us get back home, we are received by a mess of jumps, dog hugs, running around and a sense of super happiness, not caring a bit about toys, beds or the house. Just as if we had been away for days. On the other hand, when a family member is already home, our dog would bark at any person coming into the house, in order to protect us.

I understand every dog is different, but at least I was lucky enough to have experienced this. I believe we, as humans, are not so different from other animal species, we all feel fulfilled at least to some extent by social belonging and peer acceptance. And that happiness, doesn’t rely on stuff but rather on experiences and close people.

When I realized this, I was shocked. I had been giving importance to trivial things, like valuable pieces of clothing, and electronics. When I was asked what would I save from my house in case of fire, I started listing some of the most irreplaceable things, before coming to an stop and adding, “given my family is safe of course”. But that thought came second! In my heart I know they are first, and maybe I was assuming the question referred to physical stuff. But it doesn’t matter, now people are on the top of the list, followed by my doggie, and then comes the not-so-irreplaceable-as-we-think material stuff.

Since this realization, I have been in a quest to downsize and declutter my life, to rid my life of unnecessary things and finding what I love the most and what I am passionate about. This also pushed me to start my own blog, Change with Marta. Because life is a journey, it’s not so much about goals and achievements, but about trying, making mistakes and essentially…changes. Some of these changes may take you to closer to your goals, and some may not, but it’s all about growing as a person.

Embrace change as a constant in your life to unlock yourself

I want to share YOUR stories.

If you have experienced any ‘Aha!’ moments where you realized you want to align your life with who you really are, I want to hear about them and share!

All I need from you is:

1) A written 300-700 word personal story
2) A photo of yourself, or something that represents your story (this is optional)
3) A link to your blog/website (if you have one)
4) Email the info to lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com

Take care and see you soon!

3 Comments

Deliberately Creating Memories

Published 09/18/2014

Leave the memories as they are, you just can’t duplicate something like that. ~ an old friend

Something’s been on my mind. On the one hand I love the internet and technology because it allows us to communicate across distances and accomplish our dreams in a way we would not have done before. But on the other hand, as the meme says, I miss my pre-internet brain.

I miss those days when we would wait forever for our favourite musician to release their new album, and line up at the store just to purchase it. Then we’d go home and listen to it on repeat for hours, probably with some good friends.

I also miss feeling like I could actually be OFF THE GRID when I traveled, or like I was escaping somewhere where nobody could find me. Now I don’t feel like I’ve gone very far because everyone is just a click away, or I could easily be tracked down because my flight and bank details are probably online somewhere, if anyone had to really go searching for me.

On the flip side, music is at our fingertips. Anything we want to listen to, we can get, how cool is that? Anything we want to learn, is right there. Now when we travel, we can update our friends and family in real-time and show them what we are experiencing. We can look up our childhood friend and reconnect with them.

But here’s a question –

When is the last time you looked back and thought, wow, that was such a great time when I watched that YouTube video on cats, I’ll remember that forever…

That was so much fun scrolling through Facebook for hours on end. I’ll remember it until the day I die.

Yeah…not quite the same as real life is it?

The difference is we created a lot more MEMORIES. And we valued things that took more effort to do as opposed to the instant gratification of today.

My fear is that I, and anyone else who is guilty of too many hours being distracted by Facebook/YouTube/Reddit/video games/name your vice here, (and I know there are many of us) will one day look back and realize all this time has passed us by and we don’t have any wonderful memories to look back on. At least not to the degree of what it used to be. I mean, aren’t memories part of what makes life so amazing?

I worry about our children who will grow up with their faces glued to an iPad or computer screen, and sure they will probably learn a lot, but I wonder if their childhoods will be as magical and full of memories as the pre-internet world.

I don’t know…just some thoughts. What do you think?

Other than that, my point is I think it’s important to be mindful of deliberately creating memories. Take that time to disconnect ourselves from the digital world, and live in the real world. Have a little picnic in the park with an old friend, or meet a new friend while hiking up a mountain. Because it would be so sad to look back and realize we could have had a richer experience.

3 Comments

Distraction Detox – September 2014

Published 09/04/2014

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, but maybe I just needed that extra kick in the butt.

Well I got two kicks in the butt, and I want you to join me!

The first kick was from a section I came across about having a “Low Information Diet” from the book The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. Here’s an excerpt from the book that explains it a bit, but I’d recommend checking it out for more in-depth information:

The Low Information Diet – Cultivating Selective Ignorance

From this point forward, I’m going to propose that you develop an uncanny ability to be selectively ignorant. Ignorance may be bliss, but it is also practical. It is imperative that you learn to ignore or redirect all information and interruptions that are irrelevant, unimportant, or unactionable. Most are all three.

The first step is to develop and maintain a low-information diet. Just as modern man consumes both too many calories and calories of no nutritional value, information workers eat data both in excess and from the wrong sources.

Lifestyle design is based on massive action – output. Increase output necessitates decreased input. Most information is time-consuming, negative, irrelevant to your goals, and outside of your influence. I challenge you to look at whatever you read or watched today and tell me that it wasn’t at least two of the four. – Timothy Ferriss

My second kick in the butt was from a YouTube post from Unconventional Living which I’ve posted below. He challenges us to do #30daysunplugged from the internet in order to increase productivity, and not use it as a distraction because we’re bored.

My Distraction Detox!
And why you should join me!

While the internet in general is not my focus, I am committing to a 30 day Distraction Detox of my mindless YouTube and Netflix watching. I want to be deliberate and mindful of the time I’m spending on the internet, so I can get FOCUSED on my personal dreams and goals. It is so easy to get sucked into the land of aimless video watching, and it’s not getting me where I need to be. Yes, there is a lot of valuable info out there that we can get by watching videos that are more educational, but if that is the case, it’s also about taking a break from the research and absorbing, and doing a little more… doing. I’ve already disconnected from Facebook and have noticed a huge benefit of the extra time I got back.

Let me know if you want to join me. What is distracting you from achieving your current dreams and goals? What are the things you know you should focus on but keep getting sidetracked by?

I’ll follow up at the end of the month and talk about my experience. This is something I want to revisit from time to time, or maybe every month, there will be a new distraction to detoxify from!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

1 Comment

Mastering the Art of Letting Go

Published 05/07/2014

“The root of all of our problems is our inability to let go.” – Leo Babauta

I apologize for being a bit MIA this week, I’ve been busy from day until night everyday with interviews, teaching and consulting work, but I’ve been aching to get back at my blog! Today, I bring to you a free gift, an e-book created by the talented writer and minimalist, Leo Babauta, who is also someone I look up to and is a huge source of inspiration in starting my blog.

The e-book is called The One Skill: How Mastering the Art of Letting Go Will Change Your Life. The title sort of explains it, but basically it’s based on the Zen idea of letting go, and when we can master this we can reduce our stress, procrastinate less, improve our relationships, increase our ability to deal with change, learn to change difficult habits, and become more present in our lives.

The biggest thing I took away from this book was the idea that our expectations or fantasies are based on ideals, and when we have certain ideals about the way a situation or a person should be, we set ourselves up for disappointment, stress and anxiety. This causes fear, fear of things not turning out the way they should. But when we can just learn to let go of these ideals, the fear disappears, and we become more present, happy and productive.

But, you don’t have to take my word for it, take a look for yourself and see. It’s a pretty easy read and the benefits are huge.

Pick up this FREE e-book here and check out Leo Babauta’s amazing blog at zenhabits.net. I promise you won’t be disappointed!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this e-book if you read it! Let me know in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.

If you liked what you read, please subscribe!

1 Comment

Why I Am Not On Facebook And The Benefits Of It

Published 04/29/2014

“Distracted from distraction by distraction.” – T.S. Eliot

I get asked all the time why I’m not on Facebook, so I thought I would share my thoughts with you. The main reason was that I was a compulsive user of Facebook. It was the ultimate distraction. I couldn’t even wait in line without checking the Facebook App on my mobile phone. I’d be going about my day and Status Updates would constantly pop into my head. It was a bad habit.

Facebook has also changed a lot since I first joined in 2007. It used to be a valuable tool for keeping in touch with people, but it turned into constant advertisements and people began only posting internet memes. I wasn’t getting any value from it. I also became uneasy about the level of privacy. On the personal side, I became uncomfortable with sharing information with people I hardly knew, and the idea of “Facebook Stalking” made me uneasy as I’m a private person. I felt like I didn’t have complete control of the information that was posted online about myself. Also, the fact that Facebook now owns the right to do anything they want with your data is frightening. Facebook caused more anxiety than real life did.

Lastly, Facebook felt very superficial to me. We always like to make our online persona our ideal versions of ourselves, so I felt when I was looking at my ‘friend’s’ pages, it wasn’t a real representation. I thought it was pointless as I would rather have real connections with the people in my life. I’m lucky that I avoid drama, but I could definitely see how it could be toxic for those of us who are drawn towards it. I fear what bullying is like for kids still in school.

I am fully aware of the benefits of social media – it’s extremely useful for keeping in touch with people, marketing, networking, job search and spreading information. But I prefer to rely on websites that are less personal and be a bit choosier on what info goes out.

So with that in mind, I gathered the contacts of the people I wanted to keep in touch with and decided to delete my account. I’m proud to say I’ve been Facebook Free for just over a year! This blog is about minimalism and getting rid of distractions in order to live a more meaningful life, and getting rid of Facebook was a great introduction into it.

It’s funny because at first I kept reaching for my phone only to realize there was no more Facebook App. And I (still to this day) unknowingly type “www.faceb…” into my internet browser only to realize halfway through I can’t log on. But aside from that, there were so many benefits that came out of getting rid of my Facebook account.

The 5 benefits of not being on Facebook:

More Time: One of the main benefits of not having Facebook is how much time I suddenly had. I was so much more productive! I could write more music, work on more projects and have more time to spend it with people I cared about. I could also spend more time enjoying the outdoors or cooking a delicious meal.

Deeper Connections with People: The second most important benefit I had was that the level of depth to my friendships and relationships increased. Without the ability to check in on how people were doing online, I was able to have real meaningful conversations, you know, like we did in the old days 😉

More Privacy: I had more personal privacy and control over the info that was posted online about myself, and I had privacy from the Facebook information thieves.

Living in the Moment: Being less fixated on the online world helped me to become more present and aware of my surroundings. I was able to truly enjoy the here and now.

Higher Self Esteem: There have been studies that Facebook makes us unhealthy, sad and jealous because we compare ourselves to others. Well I can say with confidence that it hardly comes up for me anymore as I can’t peer into anyone’s lives.

And finally, a wonderful song a friend sent me that is somewhat related. I’m quite enjoying Passenger. There are many songs about getting rid of distractions and the superficial world and more into meaningful, happy living.

“Scare Away The Dark”

Well, sing, sing at the top of your voice,

Love without fear in your heart.
Feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

We wish our weekdays away
Spend our weekends in bed
Drink ourselves stupid
And work ourselves dead
And all just because that’s what mom and dad said we should do

We should run through the forest
We should swim in the streams
We should laugh, we should cry,
We should love, we should dream
We should stare at the stars and not just the screens
You should hear what I’m saying and know what it means

To sing, sing at the top of your voice,
Love without fear in your heart.
Feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

Well, we wish we were happier, thinner and fitter,
We wish we weren’t losers and liars and quitters
We want something more not just nasty and bitter
We want something real not just hash tags and Twitter

It’s the meaning of life and it’s streamed live on YouTube
But I bet Gangnam Style will still get more views
We’re scared of drowning, flying and shooters
But we’re all slowly dying in front of computers

So sing, sing at the top of your voice,
Oh, love without fear in your heart.
Can you feel, feel like you still have a choice
If we all light up we can scare away the dark

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Facebook. Feel free to share them in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.

If you liked what you read, please subscribe!

17 Comments

Breaking Free From Vices

Published 04/21/2014

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell

Today’s blog post was triggered by an interesting and challenging experience I recently had and I felt like I wanted to share my insights with you. I was faced with a situation where in the past I would have gone to one of my vices in order to cover up fear and emotion, but I was able to push through it in order in order to gain a richer and more meaningful experience. I’m using this as a metaphor for this blog post on how we use things, or clutter, or bad habits in order to cover up something that is underneath.

Do you have any vices?

Any bad habits, negative character traits or reactions that are unhealthy for you? Shopping? Drug use? Alcohol? Dating? Sex? Over-eating? Gambling? Even habits like watching too much television or YouTube when you could be focusing on something more meaningful or productive? We do them because we think they will make us feel better, and they do but only for a brief moment. Just as soon as it started, the happiness goes away and we’re left with an empty feeling at the pit of our stomach and we need to fill up the hole with more of these vices again. And the cycle continues.

These vices are all forms of distractions keeping us away from a more focused, happy, authentic and meaningful life.

What we really need to do is get to the source of what is really upsetting us and leaving us feeling empty or afraid. What are we trying to run away from within ourselves? And what are the triggers? It is usually an emotional issue that we are trying to avoid and only when we come to grips with what we’re emotionally avoiding can we have the blissful and meaningful life we want (and deserve). We won’t need to turn to our vices to make us feel better.

Think about the life you want to live. Refer to this blog post to help you.

How to recognize when you are using vices as forms of distractions and get focused:

1. Become aware of your negative habits, write them down if you need to. It might be difficult to recognize when something is bad for you if it feels good. But if you are constantly feeling frustrated that things are not going the way you want them to in your life, (and it is happening over and over again), it is a good sign something needs to change. The first step is awareness.

2. Notice when you feel the need to act on your vice. How are you feeling at this very moment. Are you bored? Lonely? Depressed? Scared?

3. Face your issue head on. Stop for a moment, don’t head for the nearest shopping mall or alcoholic drink. Instead take some time to sit and do nothing and just feel your emotions. Nothing bad will happen to you.

When we are able to be comfortable with being alone with ourselves, we learn more about who we are. And to know ourselves brings us closer to authenticity and true happiness. It takes courage, but it is necessary if we want to have the life we want. When we can do this, we won’t need all of the old vices that we are used to going to. Also, don’t be afraid to talk openly and honestly if your issue involves other people, because the results may surprise you.

From my personal experience, when I made the conscious decision to fight against my go-to vice, I was finally free, like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I was free from being “stuck” in an old habit and being miserable and unhappy with the end results. I knew I had to stay focused on my life vision if I wanted to be happier. I grew so much from this and I want to make sure I am continuously growing and learning from these types of experiences and moments for the rest of my life. It’s basically ‘unlinking’ old associations, and creating new and more positive ones. Nothing could be better!

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

What are some of your vices? Do you notice when they come up? Let me know in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.

If you liked what you read, please subscribe!