“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell
Today’s blog post was triggered by an interesting and challenging experience I recently had and I felt like I wanted to share my insights with you. I was faced with a situation where in the past I would have gone to one of my vices in order to cover up fear and emotion, but I was able to push through it in order in order to gain a richer and more meaningful experience. I’m using this as a metaphor for this blog post on how we use things, or clutter, or bad habits in order to cover up something that is underneath.
Do you have any vices?
Any bad habits, negative character traits or reactions that are unhealthy for you? Shopping? Drug use? Alcohol? Dating? Sex? Over-eating? Gambling? Even habits like watching too much television or YouTube when you could be focusing on something more meaningful or productive? We do them because we think they will make us feel better, and they do but only for a brief moment. Just as soon as it started, the happiness goes away and we’re left with an empty feeling at the pit of our stomach and we need to fill up the hole with more of these vices again. And the cycle continues.
These vices are all forms of distractions keeping us away from a more focused, happy, authentic and meaningful life.
What we really need to do is get to the source of what is really upsetting us and leaving us feeling empty or afraid. What are we trying to run away from within ourselves? And what are the triggers? It is usually an emotional issue that we are trying to avoid and only when we come to grips with what we’re emotionally avoiding can we have the blissful and meaningful life we want (and deserve). We won’t need to turn to our vices to make us feel better.
Think about the life you want to live. Refer to this blog post to help you.
How to recognize when you are using vices as forms of distractions and get focused:
1. Become aware of your negative habits, write them down if you need to. It might be difficult to recognize when something is bad for you if it feels good. But if you are constantly feeling frustrated that things are not going the way you want them to in your life, (and it is happening over and over again), it is a good sign something needs to change. The first step is awareness.
2. Notice when you feel the need to act on your vice. How are you feeling at this very moment. Are you bored? Lonely? Depressed? Scared?
3. Face your issue head on. Stop for a moment, don’t head for the nearest shopping mall or alcoholic drink. Instead take some time to sit and do nothing and just feel your emotions. Nothing bad will happen to you.
When we are able to be comfortable with being alone with ourselves, we learn more about who we are. And to know ourselves brings us closer to authenticity and true happiness. It takes courage, but it is necessary if we want to have the life we want. When we can do this, we won’t need all of the old vices that we are used to going to. Also, don’t be afraid to talk openly and honestly if your issue involves other people, because the results may surprise you.
From my personal experience, when I made the conscious decision to fight against my go-to vice, I was finally free, like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. I was free from being “stuck” in an old habit and being miserable and unhappy with the end results. I knew I had to stay focused on my life vision if I wanted to be happier. I grew so much from this and I want to make sure I am continuously growing and learning from these types of experiences and moments for the rest of my life. It’s basically ‘unlinking’ old associations, and creating new and more positive ones. Nothing could be better!
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein
What are some of your vices? Do you notice when they come up? Let me know in the comments below or send me an email at lessoftheexcess at gmail dot com.
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